I Had No Friends - Just Hadn’t Met the Right Ones Yet

Another Life at 40s  by Sio

In youth, friendships came easily. Just a Hello could spark a bond. But the older we get, the harder it becomes.

When I moved to Japan, I had no friends outside work. I threw myself into event after event like a second job.

The more I tried, the more out of place I felt. Small talk in a second language buried in noise left me exhausted. But watching others click and making plans, I wondered: Am I too cold? Too old? Why does no one ask me out?

I felt like failure. I feared loneliness.

The more I feared being unseen, the more I joined events, but felt even emptier walking past laughing groups on my way home.

I tried to escape loneliness, and got lonelier.

I was worn out, I needed a break. At what I thought was my last event, I met her. We talked for hours about life, values, even fears I rarely share. She listened and responded with care.

I finally understood I wasn’t lacking friends, but someone who truly resonate. I can’t do small talk, I need depth.

Midlife bonds often come with a trade. Not always for fame or gain, but for ideas, insights and feeling seen.

We get close when we resonate. We go deep when our hearts align.

In youth, friends came easy but few stayed. Now I no longer need a crowd to laugh with, but someone I can be silence with no fake smile.

At 40+, connections don’t come easy. But if you keep your heart open, the right person will find their way to you.

Sio

Resetting life in Osaka after years in the UK, France, Spain, Canada & Argentina. Seeing people and cultures from many sides.

Follow @anotherlifeclub and restart Another Life with me.